Monday, October 21, 2013

{Oh Be Careful Little Tongue What You Say}

I lost a friend this summer. . . 

Not to death or to distance, but ultimately to gossip

Six years of friendship went down the drain because my friend begged me to divulge something I had promised someone else I would not tell.  She said my silence meant I didn’t trust her, and we couldn’t be friends without trust.

Let me get this straight.

I made a promise to somebody else, and now you’re saying I’m not trustworthy because I won’t break my promise? 

It’s been a couple months and I’m still trying to get my mind around it.

To summarize, this friend wanted to gossip, didn’t like the fact I wasn’t passing along more info, and she declared our friendship officially over.  Ouch.

I know many of you are thinking that she must not have been a very good friend to begin with, but on the contrary, she had always been a very dear friend, and this behavior was extremely out of character.  Her decision however, was final.

After this happened, gossip was back on my radar.  I was still trying to comprehend a friendship being terminated because one person didn’t receive the gossip she craved.  That being said, the majority of my friends aren’t “gossipy girls” as I’ve been ‘burned’ in the past and have tried to distance myself from some of those relationships. 

Several weeks after my friendship-breakup, I was out with a group that I don’t usually spend much time with socially.  Within a matter of five minutes one of the girls had shared two private announcements with the group, about two different people (neither of which were present).  After each burst of information her only response was, “oops, I wasn’t supposed to say anything. 

I was disheartened at how freely the gossip flowed that night and that their bold opinions of other people were so blatantly shared.  The situation made me uncomfortable and I couldn’t wait to go home.  

I know we all have our slip-ups and at times can get sucked into gossip often without even realizing it’s happening. . . but culture is feeding off gossip like a drug.

God is definitely not okay with it. 

Proverbs 21:23  
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues
 keep themselves from calamity.

Proverbs 8:6-8 
The lips of fools bring them strife, and their mouths invite a beating. The mouths of fools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives.  The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.

Proverbs 11:12-13 
Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue.  A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.

If you’re in a situation where you’re being enticed to gossip, stand strong! Sometimes it means losing a friend, or being the outcast, but God is pleased when we restrain from idle chatter and choose to glorify Him instead.

Have you been in a situation that caused dissension because you chose to remain silent? 


  1. What a hard position to be put in Anne, but you did the right thing! I can't believe she would throw a whole friendship away over something like that. It must have been hard on you. :-/

  2. That is rough. :\ I'm glad you stood our ground!

    It is difficult, and something I have to guard constantly. Thank you for the reminder and encouragement to do the right thing. The world needs more ladies like you. :)

  3. Ugh - what uncomfortable situations to be in! But I agree - you did the right thing. Hopefully you standing on your conviction has caused your friend to rethink her actions.

    What really gets me is when Christian women share gossip under the guise of sharing a prayer request. As though it's totally ok to tell this private thing because we're going to pray about it. For 30 seconds, after we spend 20 minutes hashing it out as a group. Lord have mercy.